IN REAL LIFE

PROUST quiz, lifted and thrifted from 4TH AND BLEEKER

WHAT IS YOUR IDEA OF PERFECT HAPPINESS? Watching the sun rise, reading a book in my attic bedroom while listening to the rain drumming and drumming on the velux windows, writing, writing, writing. Buying shoes and watching the notebook. WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST FEAR? Complete and utter loneliness, and having thin hair. WHAT IS THE TRAIT YOU MOST DEPLORE IN YOURSELF? My lack of drive in life, my obsessive shopping, and my innate and inescapable ability to mess up or taint everything beautiful. WHAT IS THE TRAIT YOU MOST DEPLORE IN OTHERS? Misogyny, The judgementality of people's attitude to life, and the complete lack of respect some people have for humanity, beauty and other people's happiness. WHAT IS YOUR GREATEST EXTRAVAGANCE? The way I choose to dress, drink, eat and live life to the fullest. WHAT IS YOUR CURRENT STATE OF MIND? Listless, relieved and happy somewhere deep down. ON WHAT OCCASION DO YOU LIE? When I lie to myself, otherwise I'm annoyingly frank and moral. WHAT DO YOU DISLIKE MOST ABOUT YOUR APPEARANCE? Sometimes the look in my eyes, I have a love/hate relationship with my scars, and the size of my stomach. WHICH LIVING PERSON DO YOU MOST DESPISE? BNP voters and whoever initiated the idea of peep-toe-boots. WHAT IS THE QUALITY DO YOU MOST LIKE IN A MAN? Complete loveliness, genuineness and being able to instigate and crack a really good smile; the ability to make themselves the centre of my universe. WHAT QUALITY DO YOU MOST LIKE IN A WOMAN? Complete loveliness, reliability and the ability to make me forget the bad things in the world. WHICH WORDS OR PHRASES DO YOU MOST OVERUSE? 'Oh, man!', 'I nearly died', 'It's SUCH a good book' WHICH TALENT WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO HAVE? The ability to read minds, I would be able to choose to turn it on and off. WHAT DO YOU CONSIDER YOUR GREATEST ACHIEVEMENT? My self, my life, my writing. WHAT IS YOUR MOST TREASURED POSSESSION? My sequined jacket, my dogs, my diamond ring I was given when I was a bridesmaid. WHAT DO YOU MOST VALUE IN FRIENDS? That they always make me smile, that I can have SO much fun with them, that I don't have to pretend to be somebody else around them, that I can trust them, and that they can see through people's flaws and love them anyway. WHO ARE YOUR FAVOURITE WRITERS? Donna Tartt, Oscar Wilde, Byron... writers whose work has changed me somehow. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? Life is too important to be taken seriously.

CLOWNING AROUND

The point of this blog is not about outfit posts; although dressing is a highly enjoyable ventue, and interest in fashion is strong, it is doubtful any of you would share an interest in what an average girl, with no particularly fabulous garments, is wearing. Also, posing for self-timed outfit shots feels painfully awkward, hence the very poor quality of them... Despite that, today I am showing you an outfit, just as an experiment; if it is not recieved well this genre of post will not be repeated; if it is I will expand more on the theme...

This jumpsuit is a sad affair; the sort of jumpsuit that gets put in the sale early because of it's slight oddness and its unplaceable flaws; either not bought or returned, an unprofitable item. The issue for me was and still is the bottom of the legs; the shapeless wide-leg rings too much of scary sixties hippies for my or anyones liking. Nevertheless I bought it, in the sale for a sort of price at which I can afford to buy a dubious item, about two months ago, and only now have I tackled the worrying trying to be bell-bottom legs. In the end I just tied bobbles around the bottom, but it looks a bit clownish... if I decide I like it I will elasticate them, but we will see.

SHOES; DOROTHY PERKINS, JUMPSUIT; TOPSHOP, GLASSES; RAY BAN

These are the loves and banes of my life.

Listening to; Let Me Know- Roisin Murphy

A SCRIPT

A girl sits at her laptop, a bored look on her face, revising. She is in a bad mood because she attempted to shorten a dress and it worked too well; the dress is now indecent, only Alexa Chung would even consider it. And the girl's legs were definitely not Alexa Chung-esque.

She has been avoiding revision all day; thanks to this artful dodging the house was immaculate, the lunch had been elaborate and her bedroom entirely rearranged, but now she had been forced to sit down and crack on with the tiresome task of learning and, you know, actually passing her exams, she felt a tiny bit sick.

Girl: I hate revision! I need to procrastinate and I need to procrastinate now!
Wind: Net-a-Pooooorter... Net-a-Pooooorter...
Girl: Hmm... maybe I will brows Net-a-Porter.
N-a-P: (aside) Yesss, we lured her in.
Wind: Shooooooooes... Shooooooooes...
Girl: Sigh... I might as well look at the shoes...
YSL Tribs: Well, hey-hey there good lookin! 'Aint your feet just fantastic! Hows about we try 'em on for size?
Girl: Oh Em Gee they have the Trib sandals... In my size... OH MY GAWD!
Wind: Buy them, do it, do it now!
Girl looks uncomfortable, she is shifting in her seat... she wants to do it SO badly...
Girl is about to do it, she is so close, her hand is itching to press buy, she knows nothing would make her happier, her heart is beating fast, bursting with joy...
Girl: OH, bugger. Mother took her credit card to London with her.

Disclaimer: This is not a true story, Tribs are far more eloquent and classy than this. And Net-a-Porter do not have YSL Tribute sandals in stock.

Photos; JAK&JIL.

I love the elegance of this shoe, and that lady wearing possibly the coolest trousers ever and the nicest shoes ever, who appears to have the best legs ever (I'm only guessing on that one, but fate's sly hand deals all the best cards to a select few people)? Yeah, her? She's my new arch-enemy. I shit you not, I'm going to hunt her down and kick her skinny, stylish, rich ass so there's one less person in the world for us all to be painfully jealous of.

Oh, you wanna know who else I'm really jealous of? Well. More than jealousy, a deep rooted envy and a kind of true love in a straight and purely admirable way. Julia Restoin Roitfeld. Yeah, the one and only. I love her, and check out her SHOE collection? It makes me sad. She's cool, yes, she has a cool mother, yes? This is like the royal family; none of them do anything to deserve royalty, except be born by the right woman. Humph. I am very stressed out, I shouldn't be allowed to write...